Well you better take care!  And the next time you’re about to step on a bug, you best reconsider.  If the United Nations diplomats have their way today, bugs, animals, plants and the Earth itself may be granted human rights.  Yes, you read that correctly, they want to bestow “human” rights upon celery!

Today the General Assembly is devoting an entire day to debate the rights of Mother Earth. The goal is to create an U.N. treaty that would grant the same rights found in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights to Mother Nature.  Treaty supporters want the establishment of legal systems to maintain balance between human rights and what they perceive as the inalienable rights of other members of the Earth community — plants, animals, and terrain.

While it’s not  been announced, for some strange reason I smell the distinct odor of an eco-nut in the mix.  Perhaps it’s my natural Al-Goreaphobia, but the shear lunacy of this matter sends shivers up my spine.  If agreed to environmental activists would be given legal power to monitor and control industries and development to ensure harmony between humans and nature.  It’s hard to represent a gag reflex in an article, but I believe you get the picture.

Behind this act of insanity is the socialist government of Bolivia, in a not-so-veiled attempt to label capitalism as the source of all things evil.  Rather than promote clean technologies or recycling, the Bolivians would rather have us read a carrot its Miranda rights. 

The itsy bitsy spider filed suit in the world court.
Down came the gavel with a blistering report.
Up came the fines that closed the factory down,
While the itsy bitsy lawyers ordered up another round.

Bolivia doesn’t immediately come to mind when you think of drug use, but we may need to reconsider.  Though Columbia is the drug supplying capital of the world, Bolivia may just be the drug-induced stupid capital of the world.  Two years ago the U.N. General Assembly approved a Bolivia-led resolution proclaiming April 22 as “International Mother Earth Day.”  Not to be considered eco-inconsiderate, all 192 member states voted in the affirmative. Bolivian President Evo Morales promised a all-encompassing global environmental movement, demanding a “Declaration on the Rights of Mother Earth.”

Morales believes “the central enemy of Mother Earth is capitalism,” and called for creating a charter that defends the right to life for all living things. If you don’t think your 22 billion tax dollars that are sent to the U.N. each year isn’t spent wisely, consider this: Morales was named World Hero of Mother Earth by the General Assembly.

January Bolivia became the world’s first nation to grant the natural environment equal rights to humans. That’s right, you are now on par with asparagus in Bolivia.  I wonder if fruits, vegetables and insects are streaming into Bolivia to take advantage of their newfound civil rights? Does the Bolivian legal community recognize bug lawyers?  Actually most of us already consider lawyers insects, but that’s another discussion.  Will boiling a potato be considered a hate crime?

I can’t make this stuff up folks, so hang on tight.  The Bolivian law passed in January defines 11 rights for nature that include: the right to life and to exist; the right to pure water and clean air; the right to not have cellular structure modified or genetically altered; the right to have nature’s processes free from human alteration.

Bolivia’s ambassador to the U.N., Pablo Solon said “Presently many environmentally harmful human activities are completely legal, including those that cause climate change.”  Calling Mr. Gore!  “If legal systems recognized the rights of other-than-human beings,” he says, “such as mountains, rivers, forests and animals, courts and tribunals could deal with the fundamental issues of environmental contamination.”

This is among the nuttier things your tax dollars are paying for at the U.N.  Try, hard, to name two positive things the United Nations has done in the last 50 years.  If the U.N. isn’t the greatest waste of taxpayer’s money, it has to be a close second.  In a time when we’re talking about restructuring the big three entitlement programs, perhaps we need to reconsider the money we waste on an organization that puts countries such as Iran and Syria on it’s human rights council.

Time to turn myself in for the strawberries I just murdered.